Partner cheated now wants back?

Ok would appreciate some advice especially from anyone who's been in a similar situation. I caught my partner of 14 years having an affair at a gym that I wasn't aware he was going to. Apparently they only slept together once and he regrets the whole thing immensely. I kicked him out straight away as I don't believe in being with anyone who doesn't have the respect a loved one deserves. I actually started feeling relieved almost like he had done me a favor, you have your good and bad days but I'm starting to feel my own confidence creeping back in. Thing is that I started seeing a councilor with him in my mind it was to work out how to get on the same page when it comes to raising our two young children separately, but theres been some insights since then. For one I've discovered that I wasn't the only one suffering post natal depression apparently men get it to, he's since gone on anti depressants and I have seen a change in him. It's almost like he's all of a sudden wanting to be a part of his family (first time ever) he's enthusiastic about the kids and how our days been, he rings and texts me around 50 times a day and has even come over to mow the lawns and bring us lunch. But it's more the emotional interaction that's astounding me. I used to ask him how his day at work was and he'd reply whats the point another day another dollar. Now he rings me to tell me about work and what his thoughts are. He even apologized to me for treating me so badly when the kids were born and not being there for us when we needed him. And the most surprising was having him call me in tears to explain that he gets it now, that he never managed to get down on our youngest sons level and just love him for him. He was always to busy with his social life he always seemed to resent having a son follow him around trying to impress his daddy. So you see I'm in a conundrum. 14 years is a long time to be with and love someone but it's also a long time to deny yourself. I was a very strong independent girl when we first met and he seemed to resent my passion for life so much so that I was in a bad way with depression towards the end. He was always controlling and possessive but now he even asked if I could hurry up and sleep with someone so I could get over the affair and we could start again...wtf..This is turning into a novel I do apologies question is would I EVER get over the lies and the deceit? I seem to look at him and feel pityHow can I tell if I'm just addicted to the relationship or genuinely in love still? And is it weird to actually feel excitement at having my life back? I gave up a career, a lot of friends and some serious travel plans to have our children and all of a sudden these things are becoming viable again. The children even seem happier without the constant pressure around them...Can a leopard change his spots, is it possible for someone to have such an epiphany and what would happen when he goes off the anti depressants???